11:34, September 26 49 0 usmagazine.com

2017-09-26 11:34:03

 

SNL's Pete Davidson Reveals Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis: 'I'm Depressed All the Time'

Pete Davidson revealed in a new interview that he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder after entering a rehabilitation program in December 2016.

"I've been a pothead forever," the Saturday Night Live star, 23, said on the WTF With Marc Maron podcast on Monday, September 25. "Around October [or] September last year, I started having these mental breakdowns where I would, like, freak out and then not remember what happened after. Blind rage."

Initially, Davidson thought his marijuana use was to blame. "I never really did any other drugs, so I was like, 'I'm gonna try to go to rehab. Maybe that'll be helpful,'" he explained. "So I go and I get off weed. They told me there, they're like, 'You might be bipolar,' and I was like, 'OK.' So they're like, 'We're gonna try you on these meds.' And then I got out [of rehab], and then I started smoking weed again — and I'm on meds."

Two months later, the stand-up comedian said he "just snapped" and had a "really bad mental breakdown." Because he was smoking weed again every day, he assumed that was the problem. He announced at the time that he had undergone treatment and quit drugs. "I should've just said, 'I'm quitting weed,' because now people think I do drugs," he recalled. "I'm very embarrassed at this point."

Three more months of sobriety went by and Davidson still felt the same. "I found out I have BPD, which is borderline personality disorder," he revealed. "One of my psychiatrists [diagnosed me]. He was always saying before this big meltdown, 'You're probably bipolar or borderline, we're just going to have to figure it out.' ... I'm depressed all the time."

Now, the comic is going to therapy sessions and has begun taking new medication for BPD. "It is working, slowly but surely," he said. "I've been having a lot of problems. This whole year has been a f--king nightmare. This has been the worst year of my life, getting diagnosed with this and trying to figure out how to learn with this and live with this."

Davidson was 7 years old when his firefighter father, Scott, was killed in the terrorist attacks in New York City on September 11, 2001, a loss that he now believes impacted his mental health. "My big thing is trust," Davidson explained. "One day he was here and the next day he was gone."

The Staten Island native's post-rehab return to SNL in March was met with applause from the studio audience. He is now dating Cazzie David, the daughter of comedian Larry David.